Why Do You Do It? 

I was asked a question about self-sabotage after the last post that I want to answer for you today.

Q: Where do these habits of self-sabotage come from?

The answer is based on the work and research of Shirzad Chamine, and his book Positive Intelligence, which you may recall I recommended as one of my top 3 reads of 2022.

A: It’s part genetics and part environment.  

✅ First and foremost; genetics

We are wired to be a certain way from birth.  

If you’re a mother of two or more kids, you can attest to the inherent differences in the nature of your individual children, despite being raised in the same environment. 

I grew up one of four kids in the same home with the same parents, and we all developed very different top saboteurs. 

✅ Second; environment

The events or environments that we are exposed to early in life further sharpen our natural tendencies.

The ironic part is that these habits start out as STRENGTHS that we develop in childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood.  

These strengths help us succeed, so we rely on them even more as we make our way in the world.  

And the problem comes about when we start to overuse those strengths.  

That’s when they can actually become weaknesses.  

Instead of helping us succeed, they get in the way of our success.  They get in the way of our happiness.

The great news is that as soon as you identify which patterns of self-sabotage you are dealing with, you can get to work on correcting them.  

You can learn to dial it back.  

Keep the strengths but get rid of the sabotage.

In case you missed it, I’m offering you access to an assessment that helps you identify your top patterns of self-sabotage, for FREE.  

This is the same tool I use with my coaching clients to help them recognize their own patterns, and then we get to work on retraining their brains to find a better way.


If you’re ready to take the first step in overcoming your self-sabotaging habits and behaviors, 

or if you’re simply just interested in what you can learn about yourself, 

you can take the free assessment HERE.


Here’s to reclaiming your strengths,