What’s your relationship with your job? 4 steps to stop hating your job

You’re probably thinking
What do you mean
My relationship with my job?

Relationships are about people, right?

Well, yes … and NO

Relationship (noun) the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. (Oxford Dictionary)

You have relationships with people
Including yourself

But you also have relationships with other things

In other words
You have a relationship with your job
You’ve just never thought of it that way

And I’m going to teach you a concept about relationships
That you’ve probably never heard before

Lesson 1

Your relationship with ANYTHING
Is based on your

So your relationship with your partner
Or your child
Your mother in law
Or a friend
Is simply how you think and feel about them

And similarly
Your relationship with your job
Is how you think and feel about it

Lesson 2

You can CHANGE your relationship with your job
(Or with anything/anyone for that matter)
Changing how you FEEL about it
By changing your THOUGHTS about it

I’m not talking about being in denial
Or having toxic positivity
And I’m not talking about staying
In a workplace where there is harassment or abuse

But most of us can benefit
By simply taking an objective view
Because our human brain was programmed
To FOCUS on the negative
At the expense of the positive

Which was a SURVIVAL mechanism
That served our ancestors well
But it no longer SERVES us
In our modern-day lives

So we need to PAUSE
And look objectively at our thoughts
About our job
About our work

Because our thoughts
Are creating our relationship
With our job

Lesson 3: How to stop hating your job

Step 1

Take out a piece of paper and write down all the things you hate about your job
All of them
Get them all out

Step 2

Now write down all the things you like about your job
Take your time here
They may come slowly at first but keep at it
Remember your brain was programmed
To focus on the negative

Here are some sample thoughts to get you started

I like:
my co-workers
the commute is easy
I get to work from home sometimes
the paycheck I get from my job
the benefits I get
the security of a regular paycheck
I get to work with people
I get to work on special projects

You get the idea
Stretch your brain to think of
ALL the things you like

Step 3

Look at your two lists
Compare your lists
Your “hates” vs your “likes”

What I’ve noticed repeatedly
When doing this work with my clients

Is that they are SURPRISED at their results

Their LIKE list is almost always
MUCH longer than the hate list

And this totally shifts their perspective
Their thoughts
Their feelings
About their job

And it’s a BIG first step to changing
With their jobs

Step 4

Now remember
Life is 50/50
No matter how good your life is
There will always be
Bad days
Bad weeks
Bad things that happen

And no matter how bad you think your life is
There are also
Good days
Good weeks
Good things that happen

Your brain will focus on the BAD
At the expense of the GOOD

But you have the POWER
Remember the good
When you are faced with the bad
Remember life is 50/50

So Step 4 in how to stop hating your job
Is to REMEMBER your “like list” whenever you have
Negative thoughts and feelings about your job

And the more you PRACTICE
Focusing on the GOOD things
The things you like about your job
The more you’ll notice those parts
The good parts

And the better the relationship you’ll have with your job

You don’t have to hate your job
For this process to help you

If you feel “Meh” about your job
Don’t love it but don’t hate it

This process can help you improve
Your relationship to your job
At any point on the spectrum

Want help improving your relationship with your job?
I can help you with that!

Here’s to creating a career that you love,

Denee Choice, MD