What are the secrets to finding the elusive work-life balance?
There‘s been much discussion lately in work and business forums that work-life balance is a fallacy.
I disagree.
Why? Because balance is a feeling.
And like any feeling, you can create the feeling of balance with your thoughts.
Now, I don’t dispute the fact that—depending on your circumstances—it can be easier or harder to find thoughts that create the feeling of balance.
But stay with me here. Feeling balanced, as in work-life balance, IS attainable for you. Here’s how …
1. Define what balance looks like for you.
Your version of work-life balance is not your sister’s version, or your best friends, or your neighbors.
And that’s perfectly ok.
You do you.
What exactly would balance look like in your life?
How will you know when you’ve achieved it?
It’s much harder to get somewhere when you don’t know your exact destination.
So define balance for yourself right now.
Balance for me looks like __________
Examples:
Balance for me looks like leaving work on time with my work done.
Balance for me looks like feeling energized by my day instead of feeling drained.
Balance for me looks like being more present with my family at home.
Balance for me looks like having enough time for self-care so that I can show up for others at my best.
So I challenge you to sit with that.
Think about what balance means for you.
Because once you decide that, it’s simple to create a plan to get you there.
2. Shed the “shoulds”.
Quit telling yourself what you should be doing.
- You should be making cookies from scratch for the school bake sale.
- You should be exercising more.
- You should be more patient with your mother-in-law.
While you’re at it—shed the “shoulds” about others, too:
- You kids should be behaving differently.
- Your spouse should help more at home.
- Your boss should have responded differently.
What do you WANT to do?
What do you CHOOSE?
There is NO should.
Whenever you think “I should” you’re judging yourself—and usually based on some arbitrary ideal of what the perfect wife/mother/doctor would do.
And judging yourself and others, along with judging your circumstances, is the primary source of stress in your life.
The source of your suffering.
And it’s optional.
3. Manage your time.
Work-life imbalance comes from a mismatch between the time you want for yourself and for your family, and the time you think you have available for this.
We make time for everything that is important to us. Period.
The problem is, we try to squeeze in a bunch of other crap that isn’t really important to us.
Why do we do this?
Usually because we think we “should” (see point number 2!).
So managing your time is about learning to focus on what matters, and deciding what to do about the rest.
Learning to set a plan, set boundaries to protect your time and energy, and learning to become laser-focused on whatever you’re working on. That’s the path.
This is all 100% do-able for you.
It’s a choice.
This is what I work with my clients on frequently.
✅ Define exactly what “balance” they want to create in their life
✅ Ruthlessly eliminate the crap that’s not important
✅ Learn to work with laser-focus the get the important stuff done more efficiently
✅ And then revel in the free time they create for more rest, fun, family time, or whatever they want to be doing!
What would work-life balance look like in your life?
Here’s to creating YOUR balance ⚖️,
Denee